Before I used to think I could handle myself

But now I know thats not true. When threatened something just starts to flow. Like i could fucking punch through a wall or... ahh why even bitch about this stupid shit like that.

And last night I just wished I handled myself a little different. 

but last night...christ...this sounds...

well its hard to put into words. but being close to her (here I go again)

felt so fuckin good its unreal. Like i said its hard to put into words. ahh i cant cant possibly

even write something like that out cuz i cant even describe it. ah it makes me feel so good and I dont know why. anyway i know things are so far from id want them to be like but at least (ive said this 100x already) im finding some shit that makes me feel good. bout time i had some hobbies.

id kind of like to get into more. like a band...but my vox sucks. hah. oh well. who knows. or photography. i've been looking into that more and more and it fascinates me.

eh i guess thats if for now. its weird the shit i write. im not even sure what it is. i guess its just random throughts. oh well.